Sunday, November 6, 2016

Making it Through the Tough Times

A friend of mine has a husband with a fatal illness and who is in a great deal of pain. They are both struggling with the situation. Though I wish I could relieve their suffering, all I can do in share my experiences in those years when I didn't know that my adrenal glands were failing, or when I collapsed after a major stress in my life and needed to recover. Here are my comments.

I know you are under tremendous stress. It doesn't sound like you can do much for your husband, but just having you there makes it easier for him. It doesn't sound like he is really the person you knew, which is hard. I have known a lot of pain, not being able to sleep well, and lived with knowing I had a condition that could take my life at any time. It is a heavy load. I know I wasn't the cheerful, balanced person I wanted to be. I was shaky, frightened, confused, exhausted, irrational, emotional, and struggled to just keep going each day. I appreciated my husband's support even though I was rough to live with. He was often gone and I think that helped him to be able to handle my illness better when he was home. I knew he needed to get away from me, or I would drag him down with me. Other friends and family gave me support also. I don't think one person can keep giving all the support that is needed day after day, year after year. Does your husband have friends, church members, your children, or family who visit and call him? Being around supportive people helped to divert my mind from my pain and problems and helped me be more upbeat. Visits were also tiring, so they had to be short. Phone visits didn't tire me as much.